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Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Aging Well | Last Active: Mar 23 9:13pm | Replies (473)

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@fiesty76

My Trusted Handy Man Is Moving
With the death of my best friend of 30+ years, her husband is planning to move out-of-state. These are the two people I’ve relied most on locally for emotional support and physical help. These have been my first line emergency responders day or night and not once have they let me down.

This week, the husband is coming over to install a lock on my garage door, adjust a new sensor detecting porch light; remove a kitchen drawer to remove baggies preventing its closure and replace a black tube in commode tank which flips out and sprays water on the wall. Granted, these projects have needed attention for 2-3 weeks. The question is, who will I ask next time I need help?

My only child and family live out-of-state. Before their recent move to another state, my daughter and I visited a couple of independent living facilities and we explored another couple during my first visit to their new location.

Following both visits, I came home energized and began making some preliminary downsizing efforts. In my 70’s, I soon lost the motivation to continue. It became easy to use stinkin’ thinkin’ to procrastinate and relax by saying to myself: “My daughter is so organized and efficient she’ll easily be able to get me moved into whatever I’ll require at the time, hold an estate sale, and take care of all the details required in selling this house".

How selfish is that? She already has a full time job keeping her two school aged sons and husband on schedule, fed, transported and satisfied knowing that she will see to the details that make their lives run smoothly.

My plan had long been to make one “final move” from a comfortable home of 46 years to my daughter’s location and into a senior facility which would provide advancing health care as needed. Covid-19 has made me rethink this plan.

What is my next move now? Regardless of whatever I move into in the future, the fact remains that I have far more in my house, garage and yards than I’ll possibly need, use or have space for in the new accommodation.

I am a paper magnet. All things paper find a comfortable, permanent space in my house. I still have sales receipts of the first early marriage furniture that continues to make up the “bones” of my daily life 50+ years later. A custom made occasional table, dining, coffee and lamp tables along with brass lamps and an occasional and dining chairs plus bedroom furniture daily and gratefully serve my needs. These items and receipts cannot all go with me to a new location.

Before thinking of what will be given away or donated, what might be sold, or taken with me, I can start by drilling down through my stashes of old receipts, IRS reports, greeting cards and letters, cookbooks and notebooks of recipes and gardening printouts, photos and gift wrap.

Yes, I will start here. To prevent burn out, I’ll set the timer for a work session on Monday, Wednesday and Sunday. My goal for 2020 was to walk three times/week and setting specific days for those walks kept me on target. I’ve met the goal for nine months so I know I can do this, too.

This will provide a new diversion and worthwhile endeavor for the coming weeks of pandemic uncertainty and move me closer to my goal of downsizing.

Anyone care to join me?

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Replies to "My Trusted Handy Man Is Moving With the death of my best friend of 30+ years,..."

@fiesty76, such a great post. You'll notice that I moved your message to this existing discussion about downsizing in the Aging Well group so you can connect with others like @rosemarya @sueinmn @starchy and others. You'll probably also be interested to read your own posts in this thread. Click VIEW & REPLY to scroll through past posts.

Fiesty, it sounds like you have a very reasonable plan to set a timer, stay motivated and keep on task towards the eventual move. How has COVID made you rethink moving? Are you on a strict timeline?

Yes, it's time - I started last year with a single shed, which needed an "emergency" cleanout because a stray cat sneaked in & died there ugh. I followed up by cleaning and organizing my potting supplies in one place. Since then, I have been cleaning out, literally, one drawer or shelf at a time. I have finished dresser, vanity, desk, pantry and one bookshelf. There are 3 big boxes of donations ready to go the thrift store & transitional shelter.

Now I am about to tackle the extensive array of kitchenware, bakeware & dishes shelved in the laundry room & the local food pantry/free store will take the donations. I'll pass on the wide array of vases, baskets, catering tablecloths, punch bowls, trays, etc to the next generation for large gatherings, or give it away. Next will be the large cabinet of picture frames & framing supplies - my hands no longer can cut mats, etc... My downfall will be my sewing room, but I do try to do a little purging there each year, so hopefully, one bin at a time, I'll be able to manage this over a few weeks.

I have asked my husband to do the same to no avail - he'll take things from one spot, say "I don't need this" and put it somewhere else "just in case." He still has college chemistry textbooks from the 1960's, his idea of purging is to tell me which of my things I don't need.

How do people stay motivated? I do well for a week or two, then find myself letting it slide.

Sue

This is a reply to downsize and to move or not to move. I have a funny story and sad one at the same time I'd like to share before I tell you were I'm at. My freind Pete about 30 years ago was getting married and had to write his vows, and the last line was that the family would move every 2 years. After reading his vows his wife stopped the ceremony. She couldn't believe what she just heard. So the conversation with the two of them and the pastor took place. Pete stated his parents and her parents were both hoarders and to break that pattern the only way was to move every 2 years. I met Pete about 20 years after they were married and true to their word this family moved every 2 years.

@migizii - I’d be glad to help, but I think we live many many many miles and states apart😔. You’ll get it done though....