Hi everyone, Ya know I love this group, I feel so fortunate to have found you. I am happy about it because I feel I can share anything here and know without a doubt that I will be met with open arms and understanding. It's for this reason that I want to share something that has cut me deeply. My oldest great-grandson is 16 years old, his name is A and he has suffered from mental illness since he was 3 years old. Yes, you read that right 3 years old. Throughout the years A has been hospitalized numerous times and has been diagnosed with everything from bipolar to schizophrenia and everything in between, up to and including NOTHING wrong with him.He was however diagnosed with high function autism A couple of years ago, A decided he was gay, so okay, I love him unconditionally and if he feels he is gay it doesn't mean I don't love and accept him as being gay. A's mother ( my granddaughter ) strives to be this modern open minded mom and when she found out that A was watching porn she said that was natural and condoned it only if she could pick out the site he would go to.. She didn't want him watching sites that depreciates women.hummm. I nearly lost it when she told me that but try as I did, she's his mother and she will raise him her way. You've probably heard that before. Well anyway, that was all well and good till A made sexual advances toward a 6 year old little girl. THEN mom decides maybe watching pron may have influenced him a little so she said no more porn. Luckly, the parents didn't press charges but it cost mom a friendship and hard feelings.Over the past year or so A has retreated to his room only coming out for meals and the bathroom. He stays up all night and sleeps all day but mom says that's ok, they are not in school right now so hat's the harm. I suggested she check and find out who he's talking to all that time but she said. oh he's just talking to his friends no big deal. During the past 6 months or so A has decided he is transgender and wants to have the surgery, and has recently taken the name of C on his social media pages.I told mom I thing A needs some counseling to help him decide what he really feels about himself, She told me she had found a specialist about 2 hours away.I told her I would take him since she and her husband both work, but she never made an appointment. Then a couple weeks ago he announced he wants to be emancipated. My granddaughter and her husband have given A and his two younger bothers a good life.There every need is provided and they have more gaming devices than most kids do. They are told they are loved and they are being raised to take responsibility, Although, that needs a little work. They do things as a family and they are not now nor have they ever been abused. I don't always agree with my granddaughters parenting skills but no one ever tried harder to be a good mom. So, this past Sunday, A was told to go clean his room and he refused causing mom to get a little more forceful on a subject, she continued to cooperate and mom took his phone away, A then grabbed her, put her in a head lock and beat her head till dad could pull him off her, he had gone into a full psychotic episode and the police were called. Mom went and signed papers for involuntary commitment, The police took him to our local hospital for evaluation and they decided that commitment was appropriate and sent him to a youth crisis center two hours away. I took him some clothes and talked to a lady there that did part of A's intake. She told me A was showing no signs of remorse for what he did, states he hates his parents and never wants to be around them again. He claimed he wanted to kill himself and actually had two plans on how to do it. But said he doesn't feel that way when he's not around his parents. He claims they are physically and mentally abusive and he fears for his life, Of course this got CPS involved. They came to the house and said everything likes fine. Anyway, not only do A feel absolutely no remorse for what he did to his mother, he is in fact bragging about it and is proud of his ability to beat the crap out of his mother. He hit her so hard he broke his hand but sees no wrong doing on his part, He claims he shouldn't have to clean his room if he doesn't want to, after all it's HIS room and no one has the right to make him do any that he doesn't want to do. Driving home from there, I can't explain how very upset I was. I was angry, I was hurt, and I couldn't fix it. I have always been a fixer, that's what I do, I fix things, I find solutions to problems and I fix them, I CAN'T FIX THIS. I have ran out of options, and words. I am angry at A for what he did then taking such a attitude, I am angry at mom for not taking my advice in the first place when it was offered and thinking she had all the answers. I am angry at a system that doesn't have the capabilities of a dog pound. And I am extremely concerned about the many, many other young people and their parents who are forced into facing the same things.My son had mental illness as a child and is 33 years old and is still trying to find his way. It's extremely hard for me to take a back seat to this, I've dealt with mental illness as a caregiver for as long as I can remember and I usually can come up with something that makes sense, an idea or something but for the life of me those ideas all escapes me now. As I was driving home I felt the need to just talk to someone, anyone that would listen to my pain, not give advice but just listen. I called my daughter and the she said I cared more about this granddaughter than I did her and it ended up in a heated argument. I cried all the way home and haven't spoke to my daughter since. Right now all I can do is pray, Take care of myself, and Pray, hope that A will get the help he needs and Pray. Thanks for listening, I feel better getting it off my chest. God Bless Jeanie

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