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How do you accept change as you age?

Aging Well | Last Active: Nov 7, 2020 | Replies (277)

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@jeanie26

Hi Everyone, My name is Jeanie ,and this is my first time here. I've read a lot of your posts and have to admit I feel worse now than I did when I decided to come to this page. LOL let me explain. I decided to find a support group because I am struggling with this thing called ageing. I am 72 and while I have never been white water rafting, or cross country hiking, I was always pretty active. I learned as a young single mother to do a lot of my own home repairs and prided myself in not needing to ask for help. (Wow seems like yesterday). When my kids were little we would go for long walks offen. For most of my younger years I didn't have a car so I walked everywhere I went. When I got older walking wasn't as important but I did enjoy walking. Long story short, Now, I have suffered from Chronic pain for about 20 years. I had back surgery in 2017 which did not help, I have severe arthritis in my back, both hips, both shoulders and right knee. There are days I can hardly get out of bed the pain in walking is so bad not to mention the spasms in my back stop me in my tracks. I am a fall risk and use a cane only when I absolutely have to. My mind wants to walk, run and experience all I can but my body says nope not doing it. Everyone on here seems to have found the fountain of youth. I get depressed because I just can't do things I used to. I can't walk very far, and avoid going places for that reason. It's even hard for me to clean my own home due to the back spasms. I take muscle relaxants, and I have Tramadol for pain, which doesn't help but I don't want to get started on anything stronger. Tell me what your secrets are. I fear losing my independence all together. I do make myself move, I will go to walmart just to walk. I always use a cart to help me balance but I am at least able to walk for 1/2 hour or so. I also noticed I get tired much easier and faster now too. I am just not happy right now with how I am aging. I still mow my own grass, using a riding mower but my great grandson does my weed eating because it hurts my back and arms to weed eat. I do try to do what I can. Did I say I was very afraid of losing my independence. I live alone but am not lonely, I am painting my front porch right now by myself now and have other projects around the house I want to do. I am open to any and all suggestions. I want to remain as active as possible for as long as possible. Slowing down is expected when a person gets older, or is it ? I don't know any more. I am a retired nurse of over 50 years and a lot of that was spent taking care of geriatric patients. I became certified in alzheimer's when we first found out about the disease. I thought I knew everything there was to know about growing old till it happened to me. Now, I don't know anything at all. I will be anxiously waiting to hear from anyone who can help me with this. Thanks in advance... Jeanie

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Replies to "Hi Everyone, My name is Jeanie ,and this is my first time here. I've read a..."

Hi, @jeanie26, I'm adding another welcome to our seniors group. Like you, I'm not into white water rafting, smile, but I was always very active and energetic. Any chronic pain and specifically back pain which resulted from an injury in trying to reposition my mom in the car can stop us in our tracks. I have osteoporosis and both high and low b.p. The sudden bouts of hypotension make me a fall risk. There is a walking/exercise thread on the forum that provides opportunities for those of us at all levels of ability and endurance to participate in to keep us motivated. There have been good links posted for armchair and balancing. I was not only shocked but deeply offended when it dawned on me that I could no longer do all that for most of my life I'd taken for granted. Learning to actually accept some limitations was a very real struggle for me. At 76, I'm ahead of you in years but I guarantee you that coming to the acceptance that I needed to focus on what I could still do, although for much shorter periods and some things not at all anymore, has been a daunting task for one who thought of herself as a lady Hercules. With your career as a nurse, I am surprised that you are moving at all! So much lifting, turning, and assisting patients has to have taken a huge toll on one's back. As an extended family caregiver, I salute you and all nurses as the medical angels you are! If the truth were told, I imagine the thought of losing our independence is one of the largest concerns most of us consider as we celebrate more birthdays. I live alone and find vacuuming and cleaning tubs and commodes my hardest household tasks because of the bending. In my book that you are doing your lawn and driving a riding mower says a great deal about your determination and effort to remain as active as possible. Two years ago, I helped my daughter restain her large surround porch and I can promise you I was reaching for some muscle relaxants so kudos to you for tackling your porch painting...that is work new friend! Personally, I've learned that slowing down for me is just what "is". Now, instead of fuming because I can't do what I could before, I've come to terms with that and just feel like on those off days that just "still being here is quite enough". After all, we spent years working to provide for ourselves and others; now it is our turn to do at our own pace. As a friend told me long ago: C+ is still passing....for a type A personality then, that was hard to swallow. Now, if I choose not to push for a day or two, I figure I'm entitled. Do you have purely for pleasure hobbies that hold your interest? I read murder mysteries and biographies for escape before bed and play online games; watch documentaries and PBS with some Netflix thrown in for good measure. What about you?

@jeanie26 You know the saying, "Growing old is not for sissies!" I believe we owe it to ourselves to continue to do what we can. Eat a healthy diet, that may take into account any dietary restrictions you have due to health concerns. A trea once in a while, not every day. Watch your sodium intake. Move around some everyday. The walking group the @lioness mentioned is here https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/lets-go-walking-join-me-for-a-virtual-walking-support-group/ [this is also for @barbb ]
Keep your brain active, also, doing crossword puzzles, playing games, doing crafts or creative endeavors. Learn new things all the time! My dad kept up learning new things until he passed at age 96!

I don't know about a fountain of youth. I have earned every ache, pain, wrinkle and gray hair. You are doing a lot. If you are concerned, get a good physical done, and reset your sights for happiness and health.
Ginger