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@nannette1941

Hello John,
First, I am old enough to be part of this group; I am healthy and that is the problem, I am confined inside while being healthy, and I am tired of that! I love to write, and I am a published author… I write in English, French, and Spanish. One of my poem made the year 2000 book of poetry a four liner that goes as follows: A walk is only a walk
'Til I walk with you
I am only who I am
'Til I am with you!
I still write, and I am not always sad, I am mostly frustrated because, for me, everything is important. I am told over and over to relax, but there are no suggestions. For my friends and "others" I have always been "too much" or "not enough" Plainly said, I wish I could be more comfortable with myself, and not care so much! Yes, I am complicated, I wish I were not so!

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Replies to "Hello John, First, I am old enough to be part of this group; I am healthy..."

Oh, my goodness, @nannette1941! How impressive that you are not only a published author but one who also writes in English, French and Spanish. I sincerely and literally bow at your esteemed feet.

My mom's most fervent lifetime desire was to travel extensively. I was blessed with what she couldn't achieve. My most fervent desire was to become a published author. That didn't occur but it has for my daughter.

Here's hoping you'll post more of your fine poetry or other pieces. Not sure if another would be a better fit but both the "just want to talk" and "journaling" forums would garner additional interested followers.

For decades I struggled and thus can relate to the need to become more comfortable with one's self. Not until retirement did I eventually become accepting and even grateful for the quirky self I am. Much like you, perhaps, I was either "too much" or "not enough" for others and myself. Now, although my physical support network is smaller, I find myself more content with my life and self than ever before.

Suddenly, with retirement, I no longer needed to continually strive or push myself so hard. Changing gears was incredibly difficult at first. However, time and the discovery of working with my hands in the yard brought such pleasure and new avenues for creativity, that soon I began noticing how much happier and content I was becoming.

No longer grappling with self-imposed career aspirations or the long term caregiving support/decisions required for extended family, I found myself exulting in becoming the ultimate designer of my daily life.

Learning to just stop for a few minutes of deep, diaphragmatic breathing and learning to meditate (first with guided meditations and later without) has helped me not only learn to better relax but writing down those meditations later along with journaling has given me new insights into my inner workings, dreams and aspirations.

As a child, it was confusing and hurtful to hear my grandmother declare: "You walk to the tune of a different drummer" and later my mom say: "You are just too sensitive and complicated". Maybe those traits were true and what contributed to who I am today. Now, that's not only o.k. with me but also enough.

Taking walks three times each week on specific days has helped get me out of "house bound" muddling thoughts as well. At 77 yrs, I can't walk as far or long as when younger but just getting out of bed and walking at all is a plus in my book! If you are a walker, pop over to the walking forum where there is an active group who likes to share. Smiles