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Caring for my husband with late-stage lung cancer

Lung Cancer | Last Active: Apr 16, 2020 | Replies (56)

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@hopeful33250

Hello @rmftucker,

As your husband just passed away on February 8, I know your grief must be fresh and real. How are you doing? With social distancing needed, the process of grief becomes more difficult. I hope that you feel supported during this time.

Please share, as you are comfortable doing so, how you are doing. How are you taking care of yourself?

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Replies to "Hello @rmftucker, As your husband just passed away on February 8, I know your grief must..."

I am doing well. Casey had been in the care center for just short of three years after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease and vascular dementia about 3 prior to that. We have great memories after 65 years of marriage, and also been through a lot with 5 children, 6 grandchildren, 9 g-grandchildren and 2 g-g-grandchildren. Two of my children and a granddaughter live close so see them frequently, but everyone else is scattered from Washington State to Florida, as happens with many families these days. Our son who lives in Arkansas has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer so that is a concern, but we will get through this. I'm so thankful for my wonderful church family. We are having Sunday Service live through Facebook, and a daily 5 minute prayer service at 6 pm Live on Facebook. This will continue at least until this COVID-19 pandemic is over. We have had Live Face book and YouTube services filmed and archived for several years, but only the sermons. Now they include music contributed by many of our talented members. Makes it much more meaningful.

Being unable to meet with friends for lunch several times a month and going to DAR and church women meetings has made the days lonely, but I am keeping myself busy writing notes to the shut-ins and visiting on the phone with others, offering hints to parents on Facebook of ideas I used in my 24 years of teaching lower elementary students and my own family, to occupy those busy little hands when they have to stay home.

I miss Casey like everything but know he is in a better place. The past three years have been very difficult for him and me,and I never told him I was going home, just that I had to go take care of his little dog, Suzy. He would have wanted to go home with me otherwise. He was a very busy and active man, always working in the garage or yard, playing pool almost everyday with friends at the community center, visiting neighbors, eating out with me, family and friends,etc. It was very difficult seeing his personality change so he did not see anything good in anybody and always finding fault. Refused to continue going to play pool even though I said I would take him after he couldn't drive anymore. I have great memories that will carry me through.

God is probably keeping his busy or he keeping God busy.