My passion for 40 years were horses and ALL that encompassed. I trained, showed, owned my own 52 stall facility, taught, sponsored shows and clinics. But broken backs, trashed knees, beat up shoulders eventually showed me I had to quit as in my professional opinion if I could NOT keep a horse safe if they had an issue, I became a detriment and that was just not acceptable. The horses ALWAYS came first, before the owners, before sleep, food, holidays. THEY were my teachers and taught me more than any human could. But their safety was more important than my pleasure so I had to quit. Sold the facility to "friends" who proceeded to default on the loan. And I did foreclose on them but the deliberate damage they did made it impossible to start back up, so managed to sell it for less than half of what I was owed. But for a couple that had been a client who heard about the mess, hired an attorney on our behalf and allowed me to pay them back over a 5 year period, we would have been homeless...I owe them our very lives.And yes, I could have sued them for the tremendous, deliberate damage they caused but that would have meant another year or two of dealing with their toxicity and it came down to how much is right worth. I used to journal and not read it for some time. It saddened me to read what I had written and became too painful to continue.

I am VERY grateful to one of my sisters who told me about your site as knowing there is a safe place to ask questions, read of others, etc is comforting.

I am just going to have to struggle and find my path, if indeed there still is one. I know with certainty that meds made it far too difficult to work and I have to for survival so hoping all you wonderful people will give me ideas so that I can somehow find a reason to stay until the Universe says otherwise.

Thank you.