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burnt2acrisp (@burnt2acrisp)

Caregiver Burnout Warning

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Nov 2, 2020 | Replies (42)

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@becsbuddy, No I don't think you're pushy at all! I appreciate anyone with a kind word right now. I don't have a clue as to what's going on. Got a 4:00am call from hospital yesterday, said hubby was sinking fast. Did I wish to depart from Advance Directive? Should they petition administration for a sure to be denied permission for final in-person visit? No departure, don't trouble with the certain to be denied visit request. I probably wouldn't get there in time anyway. Little later staff told me death imminent, since I didn't approve for aggressive but fruitless (fruitless their words not mine) treatment did I have proper facilities to bring him home for end-of life care or should he stay there, or go to a hospice? Or even a nursing home? Settled on stay there with 'comfort care' only, next pick local hospice.
He didn't die in next 5 minutes after all…during mid-morning call I questioned nurses, dr., about just when was he tested and admitted for Covid, possible reasons for dementia unit to conceal this from me. A dr. said he'd order cessation of all psych drugs immediately and lo! Later that day a nurse brought the phone to Hubby's room and he recognized my voice and responded appropriately to my gab.
Today I called to inquire and discovered that the meds were still on his orders and they were in the middle of transferring him to V.A. hospice care 150 miles away. He's now completely out of danger from Covid illness and only in dementia-related death throes. Awful quick Covid recovery for a 73 year old man! Birthday 74 coming in one month from today. Covid positive April 11, deathbed sick from Covid April 16, recovered from Covid April 16.
Phone just rang- hospital calling to say they just shipped him out. Good of them to let me know. When I questioned the chain of events 'Julie" laughed and said none of it was her doing.
This afternoon I had to ask for contact info on destination. Talked to V.A. rep who pretty much told me that I get to choose the funeral home. Period. By the way…V.A. website says they don't accept or abide by Durable Power of Attorney or Advance Directives, but I had heretofore been under the impression that private facilities do.
I'm not making this up tho it reads like a bad horror novel. I'll never see Hubby again and they've put him beyond the reach of investigation. I think the situation warrants investigation but don't know by whom.

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Replies to "@becsbuddy, No I don't think you're pushy at all! I appreciate anyone with a kind word..."

@burnt2acrisp Ive been thinking about you in these tough times. How are you doing? Becky