@becsbuddy and @contentandwell, I’m not sure the best thread to use to post this…just want to talk, caregivers? Friction between my stage 4 cancer friend’s hubby and daughter continued to escalate with the d. attempting to take over all of friend’s financial and health decisions through legal and medical poa’s. Friend finally issued ultimatum for d. to return to out-of-state home.

It has been a mixed blessing having the d. here to take over the mom’s care…while overly aggressive with medical and home health, it was a relief for me to know my friend was getting needed med. attn. Also d. provided daily healthy meals which was a wonderful comfort.

The d. is emotionally disturbed and needs prof. help and medication. Her erratic mood swings and verbal attacks on both friends became untenable. The d. left after I insisted that friend issue a date and time ultimatum deadline. D., 2 grands and 2 dogs left Sunday.
Yesterday, friends called to say hubby is having progressively painful back problems but doesn’t want to seek immediate med. care. Wanted the name of my kidney specialist. He’s had kidney stone surgery in the past and had told me 2-3 weeks ago that he’d “twisted his back” but nothing since.

Discussion about the need for referral to specialists and being told that friend’s pcp had turned down hubby as “new patient” a couple of yrs ago, had me urging to seek emergency visit to hospital branch where diagnosis and immediate treatment plus referral if needed was refused.

He agreed to check pcp for appt today but wants to “put off” any treatment for another week because of scheduled treatments this week for wife. With my severely compromised lungs, I cannot spend the night with wife if he requires surgery but suggested hiring a home sitter who could also make meals through current home health group if needed.

Guess I am just needing to “vent”. There are no magic bullets but am feeling that elderly hubby is unequipped to handle all that will be required of him now. Also feeling stressed because I no longer feel safe making face-to-face contact with them because of weekly cancer treatments, home health workers, and their exposure to others. Thanks for listening. Let’s hope I can persuade him to seek immediate help today. Don’t know if anything could burst like appendix but need to get through to him that he needs to be in top form for ongoing care of his beloved. A prayer for us would be appreciated.

@contentandwell, Yes, my neighbor was wearing her Apple watch when she had a terrible fall in her garage. Thank goodness, her adult son saw her and called 911. The watch did not send the help signal. Perhaps, the watch wasn’t programmed correctly? This happened after the stay-at-home-order and she hasn’t yet taken it back to the store?

@cindiwass…Wearing your cell phone around neck is another enterprising idea to use as an alternate way to summon help. One advantage of the Alert 1 system is that it is waterproof so can be worn while bathing.
I have owned my home in TX for many years and have great neighbors who have lived at our end of the street for decades as well. I share the same concern you have about making a move to Boulder/Denver area because my family moved there from IL this past August. My sil loves the challenge of trying new career options and another move for them would complicate things for me as well.

@lilypaws, Unfortunately, like your dear husband, there are many who don’t understand the value of wearing masks. Seems like there was an earlier thread about how to explain good reasons for wearing masks, especially in hospitals or crowded areas?

@lioness, I got so excited by a Bonnie Bell ad stating that “starter plants” could be ordered and shipped directly to homes. However, their costs were far higher than I want to pay at this time. Home Depot has advertised home deliveries as well but not sure about the inclusion of plants and the min. order is rather steep. That may be my best option though.

@jeanette527, Great idea! “I also have my advance directive on the spare end table by the bed.” I’ve been wondering how to alert EMS to my DNR and advance directive if summoned. I’ll put mine on a credenza in entry that fronts the front door. Thank you!
Also liked your idea for putting your cell phone in the waterproof packet while working outside. Such creative people gather here! Smiles

Oh, Wow! @robbie, this photo is gorgeous!

@becsbuddy, Becky, I need to post this all over my house!!! Thank you!

@gingerw, I’m agreeing with @contentand well 200%. Congrats on all you do and manage. Sigh…how I would love to be growing some of your blackberries. Just received a Mrs. Smiths cobbler in grocery delivery yesterday…maybe ¼ left after first 30 minutes??? Vbg

@funcountess, I’m with you on the hardscaping. I had patterned concrete installed in front yard with several flower beds and only a curving bed of New England asters and 2 trees remaining. It has been worth every penny spent. Another great boon for me was installing irrigation sytem for both front and back. It can be set for individ beds or to automatic for running all stations.
https://birdslife.co.uk/why-wont-birds-come-to-my-feeder/
@zeiracorp, Thank you for the link to this excellent hummingbird site! https://birdslife.co.uk/why-wont-birds-come-to-my-feeder/
Great new suggestions..set out more feeders/both sun & shade; perhaps the best is that nectar can be refrig’d for up to 2 weeks…what a time saver! Will add red streamers to tree for enticement. Also didn’t know that those pesky males were arriving first and “guarding” their territory..lol