Hello. It makes me sad to read this, as I recall when my dear mom reached that stage of her Alzheimer's disease. You are doing a wonderful job and I wish there was a magic answer. Her not remembering what to do with the toilet once she gets there will not improve. You are correct when you say that she won't remember how to get to the toilet at night, much less how to use it when she gets there. You can get a sensor for the floor that will wake you when she gets out of bed, and then you can go in to help her. There are also electronic devices that will notify your phone when she gets out of bed. It would help for a while, but she will eventually get to the point where she will just go in her incontinence pad/underwear. You will most likely also need incontinence pads on the sheet/mattress. This will be the stage that most people realize that they can no longer go without help, either by moving her to assisted living or by having someone in the house. You must realize that you are not a bad person by doing that. It's just the way it is with this horrible disease. I wish you well and admire you for asking. Virginia Naeve (www.anewpathformom.com)