Thanks for your interest. Abandoned not really. I would have to be part of something to feel that and I have learned not to be dependent on anyone. Anger would be a mild word as to how I feel. I do as many things that I am capable of doing myself. I was a phys. Ed major in college and I have been exercising since I was 5. I have practice meditation since I was 16 and practice martial arts, Kung Fu, for a few years when I was in my 20’s. My work was my exercise from that time on. If you met me on the street, you would be able to tell how much pain I am in or how ill I am. People shocked when I explain my medical problems. I eat a very healthy diet. I have no choice. Look up the map diet. I can only eat the natural foods on the low side. The high side I have allergic reactions to. The inside of my mouth becomes numb, the same for my tongue and my lips swell up. It is called mouth allergies. Chemical sensitivity is more like it. My deadly allergic reaction is to shellfish. I take my dog for a walk twice a day for about an hour. My feet hurt like hell but if I walk it is tolerable. My problem is standing still. I can only stand in one place for about fifteen minutes before the pain is unbearable. Same thing happens while I am in the car. My wife drives me now. The longest I can sit is about 20 minutes before I can’t stand the pain. That is after I have had the injection I get from the neurologist Those injections last about 8 to ten months. That has to do with the fact of chemical sensitivity to drug. The injection last longer for me. I can only drive for about a half hour before I have to get out of the car and walk around for awhile. The doctors offices are about 3/4 hours away. Sounds like fun doesn’t it. Then I have to go home with all that pain crap again. When that injection wares off, and that is without any warning, I am hit with excruciating pain. It feels like someone just stuck a red hot poker up my ass. Ice packs and then a heating pad are my only relief that I can use now. When this happens no one can help me not even my wife. All she can do is watch. The last time this happened she nearly passed out twice. She had to call my oldest son and he had to leave work and come to my house, just to take care of her. He has seen me go through this before many times. Like I said he can only watch. I then have to make an appointment with neurologist and see when he has time to see me. After seeing him I have to wait for approval from the insurance company for the injection and then I have to wait for a time to see the neurologist again to have that injection. It takes about two weeks for the injection to completely work. Sometimes he misses the exact spot, like this time and I have to go though the whole process again. I have another appointment in two weeks and maybe it will take this time. That is only for this painful spot. With Central Sensitization Syndrome, you hurt all over all day anyway and there is no treatments for that. I exercise and that helps some and I take hot showers and use a shower message attachment which helps some. For the most part, I just have to eat the pain. On top of that, there is the psychological part of this syndrome. That I can’t describe, it is too unreal for the average person to understand. You would have to have this syndrome to get that. Hypersensitivity is all consuming as it affects your entire central nervous system. In reality no one, even the doctors who know about this, can do anything to relieve the stress it causes or the pain you have to endure. My only option is to learn to accept this. This is the hell I have to live with for as long as I can. I also realize I am 71 and nature will take it’s course. Aging has it’s own hell and I will have to decide when I can’t deal with that extra pain.