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Family trip gone bad: Dad overused his anxiety med
Addiction & Recovery | Last Active: Mar 8, 2020 | Replies (16)Comment receiving replies
Yes, im in therapy. It does help. With me, i think its just a little deeper with the issues of abuse and neglect in my growing up. I confronted my parents and brother almost 2 years ago, didnt go well. I have since disconnected from my brother. The healthiest thing to do. But that came with a lot of garbage and guilt. Im not saying i dont love or respect my parents, im just trying my best to make it easier livin here, so i tried communicating, which they are very poor at. It is frustrating, but still learning. I have enough on my hands with my health, i try to focus on that.
Replies to "Yes, im in therapy. It does help. With me, i think its just a little deeper..."
@januaryjane I read strength in your words. You have worked hard to be able to live, as much as you can, in a way that is healthy for you. I usually have to remind myself that I am the only one who can change me, and others have to decide to make their own changes. We can only tell/explain how their actions/words/non-actions have affected us; they choose to make their own change. If they will not/cannot, we have to release with love, knowing we took the steps we could. I have had to do this with my family, also, so I understand a bit of where you come from.
Like @jimhd has mentioned, guilt and shame seem to be put to bed, then pops up again. But we soldier on, and take care of our own mental and physical health first.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I know you have spoken for those who are not able to, and it has helped.
Ginger
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@januaryjane I'm most grateful that I didn't grow up with abuse. I know that it's a disturbingly high percentage of the population who did, and are still. My traumatic abuse started as an adult.
I've been working for 15 years on guilt and shame that I carried around, like rocks in my backpack. I think I'm past it, then it pops back up. My first step in the process was to identify deserved and undeserved guilt and shame. Even though the guilt was dumped on me by someone else, it hasn't been easy to move forward away from it. It's a theme that keeps coming up in therapy.
It's no fun being the bad guy who tries to speak up in order to mend relationships, but sometimes that's what we need to do for our own mental health. It sounds like it's time for you to tend to your own needs, and that's what you're doing. I wish you wellness and safety.
Jim