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Being queer or trans in the holiday season
LGBTQIA Health | Last Active: Apr 1, 2022 | Replies (15)Comment receiving replies
I wanted to share some more thoughts after the weekend. From being an observer of my community and myself, I've recalled that there is an even wider spectrum of experiences we experience as LGBTQ+ folks during this holiday season...
8) mistreatment during travel–by TSA officials, security, or others
I myself was just going through passport control a week ago when moving through countries (to get to the United States and meet my family for the holidays), and I was consistently misgendered (being called sir and ma'am) and had officers even tell me they didn't like the way I look with short hair. It's so deeply exhausting sometimes to be gender non-conforming. The stares, the questions, the assertions of who I appear to be. I know that gender is seen as a natural part of our society, and so, much of the time, I'm able to exercise compassion and understanding for that. But sometimes, especially if I've been traveling for 36 hours or I just don't have the energy to teach people, it wears me down.
9) deadnaming
Deadnaming, for those who might be unfamiliar with the term, is when someone calls a transgender person by the name that was assigned to them at birth or a young age, as opposed to their chosen name. This happens a whole lot during the holidays, and I know it's really tough for people.
10) Being excluded from holiday festivities
This one breaks my heart. A surprising percentage of the homeless youth population is LGBTQ+. I personally have conducted research and written about this issue, and I also know people who have been affected by youth homelessness. It often happens because youth are kicked out of their houses by their parents who reject them for their sexuality. It can also occur because of abuse in the home, which is fueled by the parents' rejection of the young person's identity and/or expression.
It's tough to spend a time that is meant for family without family. Lots of people go through this, in and out of our community, and nobody deserves it.
Replies to "I wanted to share some more thoughts after the weekend. From being an observer of my..."
You are absolutely right nobody deserves it but unfortunately this type of behaviour is not restricted to LGBTQ community but is much more widespread at one time due to a wave of suicide bombings and especially after 9/11 people in the west started suffering from islamophobia labelling Muslims as terrorists the label hasn’t entirely changed unfortunately for LGBTQ is more stressful it is one thing to be getting rude treatment from complete strangers but being ostracised by family takes it to another level why it happens is difficult to analyse but in my opinion it can be because of lack of tolerance for views different from the majority and also not be able to give respect to the individuals space true love is unconditional and if the close family gives that to you that is what should really matter but the attitude in general will still hurt but to a lesser degree people in general are judgemental and they judge in a very narrow range can one change that? I don’t think it can be done so how to go about maybe writing articles about it trying to pinpoint society about it’s bias directed towards LGBTQ community even that may not work so working upon oneself might be the answer LGBTQ are as worthy as anyone else so the treatment rendered to them by opinionated people should not matter easy said than done but being a Muslim and to top that up being a Pakistani I definitely encountered the disdain from strangers but definitely not from my family in my opinion strangers don’t matter but family does so basically it is all about family and to bring a change in their thinking and ultimately families make up a society
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@ayeshasharma I feel upset that they had a negative experience while traveling. If they could educate me how to address someone when I don't know their preference, it would help me understand how to behave appropriately, please. In the past I have endured snarky comments from others, and sometimes just refuse to deal with those situations, other times replying to them in a way that I hope will throw it back in their faces. It's a tough place to be. I would be honored to be called part of their family. If I have misplaced preferred pronouns, please accept my sincere apologies. A friend was dead-named and I had to standup and correct the speaker, as she wasn't there to do it herself.
Ginger