The best (yet at times the hardest) thing I’ve done is be OVER-open about our struggles. I also need the support from friends and family, but by being open I’ve come to find so many other people who have dealt with the same thing (coworkers, friends of friends, etc.). Telling work has been extremely helpful because when I’m gone for a week at a time doing monitoring and retrieval, I have a group of cheerleaders willing to help out in any way and are way more understanding than if I just said “personal leave” (I’m a teacher so we need a lot of support anyway!). The hard part about over-sharing is people feel comfortable giving unsolicited advice constantly. But lately I’ve been using this as a teachable moment...recently my husband’s boss’s wife downright argued with me about how to fix my infertility with diet. And I finally told her that I’m not out there giving advice to people with cancer because I’ve never been through it so she shouldn’t be doling it out either if she’s never been through it. After 5 1/2 years I’m done with just smiling and saying “thanks”.

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