The emotional toll of IVF

Ok I have looked into therapy but I wish I could have one that specializes in infertility. Do you go alone or does your husband join you?

I agree, it would be an amazing gift to find a therapist that specializes in infertility but that is VERY hard to do. I had no luck. However, the therapist I did find has helped me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. Infertility takes a toll on EVERYTHING in my life and talking to someone who can address those aspects too has been very beneficial. I go alone to these meetings. I find that sometimes just being able to say anything I want and really just process on my own with the therapist has been very good for me. I do know that she does see couples.

Hey so following up with this convo (sorry I was on vacation the past two weeks), to those who did go to a therapist, HOW did you find it helpful? Like @loren12 you mentioned "the therapist I did find has helped me in ways I didn’t even know I needed" - like in what ways were they helpful?

@paddingtonk, you stated "I can let him know how I feel like I am a failure because it’s my body that is letting us down". I can 100% relate to you. In fact, I basically said this thing to my husband last night regarding my failed body image. I think we are in the same boat. It is hard not to get angry at God or even myself and my body.

@minnesotamrsa , To answer your question, I don't go to therapy but I am wondering if I should. I am starting to begin the process of thinking of myself as a barren women who can't have kids. And that sentence alone is quite difficult for me to type, even more difficult to internalize and begin to accept. I guess, I just don't know how this process should look. Or in the bigger picture - how a person going through infertility should look. I get that everyone is different and unique, but I need more of a framework, a template so to say, for how to cope and how to handle all of this. Or I should say handle this better... or if how I am handling it now is enough.

I have found with the emotional roller coaster that is IVF. I simply have to just feel and let my emotions run their course. Again, I’m fortunate and have an amazing support system, so I could vent to just about anybody and they would just let me. I have also found that keeping busy in my “normal” life helps too because then I cannot dwell on stressful piece of “waiting” in IVF. The “waiting” is the roughest part because your mind just goes places. I tried to keep my life full and busy to distract and that helped me a lot.

@abcdefghi I should start off by saying that if you can find someone who actually specializes in this area that would probably be at the top of my list but I was unable to find someone who did and that I could get into. I got really lucky with the therapist I found and while she doesn’t specialize in fertility she sees a large number of women who struggle with it and therefore is pretty great at helping! My therapist has really worked with me not just on the fertility stuff makes me feel but how it affects my entire life. She has helped me work on ways to communicate, how to cope, how to advocate for myself. She has really been someone who just truly listens and makes me feel safe to share where sometimes that isn’t always as easy with friends or even sometimes family. Fertility has taken a toll on my marriage as well and she has really helped me look at how I can work to keep that from getting out of hand. All in all it has just really been a blessing to have a safe place to cry, laugh, share all the big and small things and to never feel judged.