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← Return to The emotional toll of IVF
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Fertility & Reproductive Health | Last Active: Dec 4, 2019 | Replies (15)
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I so badly want to turn to my faith but I’ve been struggling with feeling like I’ve lost it. I’m very angry and I take it out on God (I know he can handle it). But I’m generally just pissed at everything. I can still feel positive going into new rounds because I *DO* still have hope, but a lot of anger too. To cope I listen to music (the louder the better!), podcasts, I read, I travel, I surround myself with friends that make me laugh, I spend a lot of time outdoors (Duluth is good for that!). It doesn’t “work” all the time but it helps pass the time and distract and as you all know, there is a lot of empty time to pass in IVF.
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It is so difficult to not get angry. After the death of my son, I felt I could either get angry or learn to carry that grief with dignity. For me, I didn’t want to turn into a bitter, angry person and that can be a slippery slope. I rely on my husband a lot. He’s going through all the same things I am. I can let him know how I feel like I am a failure because it’s my body that is letting us down. And some days I have to go to a higher power and say that I think this is one of the times I need to be carried for a little bit. I tend to feel a bit lighter after.