Help asking doctor if this is small fiber neuropathy or something else

I am so happy that my first attempt at meds is working - at least for now. I suspect that is subject to change so I won't get TOO excited. I am terrified of anti-depressants as I've had such negative side effects from them in the past when actually attempting to treat depression. Virtually every one of the ones I tried failed to treat the depression and side effects included anxiety, agitation, and/or SERIOUS muscle spasms that required physiotherapy to recover from.

That some people find relief in anti-depressants tells us just how different we all are.

@iceblue and @albiet

Even after taking a medication for a long time, I'll still read the paperwork and go online to review the side effects and interactions every once in a while.

I didn't keep track of all the antidepressants I tried before landing on Wellbutrin. It's been helping me for 13 years. A year or two ago I felt that I was falling into the depression hole, and my psychiatrist had me add Mirtazapine. I had tried Abilify, but it didn't change how I was feeling.

It's interesting to read those warnings and side effects. They're almost identical whatever medication the list is for, and listening to the ads for meds on TV, I hear the same list being broadcast. Even so, I keep an eye on my health to figure out if I'm experiencing anything from the list. It's not that I'm worried. I guess I'm just a bit OCD when it comes to being informed.

Jim

That sounds wise to me.

@jimhd does the mirtazapine, make you not think about the issues you have?

@albiet

That's a good question, one that I'm not sure how to answer.

I had been taking Wellbutrin for more than ten years, and between that and therapy I had come a long way from the dark depths of depression and suicidal thoughts and attempts. But a few years ago I was heading back to the black hole, so I made an appointment with the psychiatrist and he had me try Mirtazapine. After a couple of dosage adjustments I started to feel a difference.

I don't think that anything I take makes me not think about my issues. I still have thoughts about suicide and guilt and anxiety. Depression is more than just issues. I guess that would be depression that has triggers or is related to situations or relationships. When I plummeted to the bottom of the hole, life was going well. I can't point to anything that would be a trigger. For me, I think it was more an organic problem in my brain that required medical intervention. I spent two years or so to find through trial and error the medication that my brain needed.

The issues I have were addressed in therapy - things related to PTSD and anxiety and self-esteem.

Something that's been in my thoughts lately is a sense of not feeling any emotions because my meds are keeping me stable. I know that that's desirable, but it leaves me feeling flat. I think that one reason for that is that I'm not seeing a therapist right now, and haven't for several months. The man who was my therapist for a year was really good. I told him things that I'd never told anyone. But he left with just a two week notice because he had to go and tend to some family problems, and I don't click at all with the woman who took his place. I don't know at this point what I'm going to do. The only therapists in my area who accept Medicare are the ones who work through the hospital. There's no way I could afford to pay for it.

But at least I don't have the mood swings now, except maybe for discouragement. I'm able to process the suicidal thoughts and some days I can make myself get up out of the recliner and accomplish something.

Here it is, midnight, and I need to go to sleep. Thanks for asking.

Jim