I think that my anxiety issues are bound to two factors: I wasn't in a loving, nurturing environment while growing up and felt uncertain of everything to the point of self-generating fear; and, I am a perfectionist that gathers my self-esteem largely from the approval of others. From the first part I have a distrust of my circumstances and that others will be there to help me when I am in a place of uncertainty, while from the second I have an unhealthy and impossible imposed structure on myself that I alone can create worth through achievement where my standards are so high. I have begun to trust others' intentions on being there for me now, with some difficulty, while it is harder to change my expectations of myself and to find my own self-worth. When I believe that I am unsafe or that incapable of meeting high goals, I run to my place of a terrible outcome that is irrational but feels real to me.

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