<p>No matter what cancer someone has the anticipation, the “scanxiety” is there for all of us. I am into my 5 th month as a kidney cancer patient. I had my right kidney removed May 2019. Much has happened in those 5 months. I just received my scan results. I had an MRI abdomen/ pelvis and a CT of chest and I am cancer free at the moment. I am grateful I don’t have cancer but I have many months to go. I am under “surveillance “. I had anxiety prior to scanning, during the scans, then waiting for results. Not fun! This business of having cancer takes an emotional toll. For me I had the added stress of a cancer center which has not and did not inform me of my results in a timely manner. It seems if you have a localized disease many patients experience this slowness of response. Patients are under great duress as they wait for results. I am the one who ultimately got a hold of my own scan results. I had been waiting to hear from my cancer center and it was a struggle to get someone to call me. A nurse did finally call but I had a copy of my results before her call. I am disappointed with my cancer center! I have been disappointed! I have found them, my cancer team, slow to response in general. There is only one person at my cancer center who is not a direct part of “my team” who advocates for me. This nurse is my “go to person. I am grateful for her continued support. So as a cancer patient I am learning much. Biggest thing I have learned; a patient has to constantly adovate for themselves or have someone to do it for them! At this point my new concern is what if I develop cancer. What if I become ill, weak and sick? How responsive can I expect my “cancer team” to be. I am not impressed them. I have lost trust. The very first oncologist I met left shorty after I became his patient. Not anyone’s fault. I felt shuffled around. The second oncologist chosen for me was younger and more “inexperienced “. That made me nervous. I went to the Mayo Clinic at a near by city, a 2 hr drive away. I saw an expert renal cancer specialist. My experience with the Mayo Clinic was different. I was impressed with the Mayo Clinic and oncologist I saw. I am seriously considering moving to this city to be closer to the doctor. I have not been so impressed with the cancer center where I go now! My new oncologist is more experienced but I have lost “trust”. I feel nervous once again and my gut is telling me to take “action”! Moving to another city would take time. Many things to consider. I work full time and care for my elderly mom who is frankly healthier than I am. I am under so my stress right now it hurts! I have lost weight from stress! There is so much I have to deal with all the time I feel under duress! If the cancer doesn’t kill me the stress will! I will need to seek help for my stress. I really can’t handle all this on my own. I feel like I am drowning! I have to tell myself that I am okay. I don’t have cancer right now. I need to stay focused so I can be strong for whatever lies ahead! I will be fighting more battles. I must remain strong while I am still healthy enough! Sound familiar?</p>