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Hi @coloradogirl What a tough circumstance to be working through. I wish I knew of some magic indicator, but I've never discovered or read about one yet.
In the case of my MIL and our daughter-in-law's father, I can say we acted immediately when we saw the first indications of an unsafe activity that could potentially put that person at risk of injury, getting lost, taken advantage of, etc. With my MIL it was when she wasn't sure who the UPS delivery man was. She thought him just a friend stopping by and she wanted to go with him. For her that was our indicator she was at risk and was not allowed to be alone any longer. In my DIL's case it was when her dad's anger elevated and they realized he might do that when he was out and about and not with them. In both cases this was when the families added a companion caregiver to the daily mix.
No doubt this is a tough one!
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Thanks, @IndianaScott. So far, we have managed to keep her from going out on her own because she was deconditioned from being in the hospital and therefore was a fall risk, so the PT said she had to be accompanied. At this point, they are still saying that she needs to be accompanied while walking due to strength and balance issues, but she's adamant that she's going by herself in a taxi and we can't stop her. Part of the challenge is that this comes up while we're both trying to work - she's so impulsive that she demands to go right this instant, which of course we can't do because of work commitments.
My concern is that she'll get away from home into a store or other public place, not be able to figure out how to get home, and have a public meltdown. In the hospital when this has occurred, she has shouted, used profanity, thrown things, and once even made a nurse cry. But maybe she will be fine, and then I have kept her home against her wishes when I didn't need to.
We heard today that the speech therapist is coming on Saturday to do the cognitive evaluation. Maybe she can give us some insight, since hubby seems to think she's fine (just being difficult) and I'm not sure what the real story is.