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Emotional health after cancer: How are you doing really?
Cancer: Managing Symptoms | Last Active: Oct 31 4:04pm | Replies (272)Comment receiving replies
This is such a great post/topic. I went through breast cancer in 2020. Here, in March, 2021, I am waiting for my final touch-up surgery in April (double mastectomy 6/2020, reconstruction 10/2020). I managed the chemo and surgeries, but no one told me about the emotional aftermath from cancer care . . . I am physically tired most of the time, my initiative (that seemed inexhaustible before) is so low, and I spent the past three months crying all the time. I wrestle with feeling guilty because though the cancer is gone, I do not yet feel that joy I used to have. I can't seem to will myself to feel normal again. I've been told to give it time. . . . I want to be an encouragement to others, but I'm still struggling keeping myself "up".
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@rhongirl- Good morning and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I am a mentor for lung cancer and lung health for Mayo Connect. Although I have not had breast cancer I can well understand how you are feeling because I am also a 23+ year lung cancer survivor with two surgeries, radiation, and chemo. I remember waking up on my first morning home from my first surgery and thinking, "Ok, now what?" And then when there were no answers other than "live your life", from my surgeon, I thought, "oh my word, how do I do that?" There are no rule books or guide books to know what to expect physically, never mind emotionally. And you are recovering during a pandemic. I can't imagine anything more confusing or scary.
So up until now, for a year you have undergone the scare of breast cancer, tests upon tests, surgery, and chemo and reconstruction. And you are waiting for more surgery. How could you not cry? Where would your energy come from? A lot of people only have one surgery to think about and look at what you have endured! Like me, you are expecting way too much of yourself.
Have a final cry for the day and maybe think, "ok, I'm tired, I have some discomfort (pain?). I'm stiff and achy. So just lie back and nap, do what you can and then say to yourself and everyone around you, "I can't do anything else right now." You should be proud of your decisions and what you have been through. You have saved your own life!
There is no joy in learning that you have cancer. It is terrifying and mysterious and you have to learn so much new medical stuff it's overwhelming. Your life has changed forever and with the decisions that you have made you have also changed the way you look. You are also in mourning for the loss of the parts of your body that society has made us feel are things that make us feminine. Why would this bring you joy?
You have bravely made decisions that have altered your whole being in order to survive and you are exhausted from these decisions and the healing that comes with them.
I hope that someone who has had breast cancer and reconstructive surgery will chime in to tell their story so that you will feel safe and part of this wonderful group. And also know that you are not alone.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/breast-cancer/
One more thing. Your joy will come. Try and replace it with pride. It will be different most likely, but it will come. There is probably a lot more thinking and pondering to go through.
Have you considered joining a group of breast cancer survivors?