@nobody- I can really identify with your struggles. I recognize your description of yourself, strong, nothing bothers me, I can handle anything. And as you so aptly indicated, it's a facade. My emotions are always in a tizzy because I too hold things in. I now fear that they are too close to the surface and I'm not liking that one bit! You have certainly endured quite a bit and deserve a break from all of it. After my last cancer, almost 3 years ago, after 3 other lung cancers (22+ years) I felt like this too. I didn't see how I was going to look at anything in the future with a smile, or even have a future. I was told that I had cancer in me, and would have forever. That I was a stage 4A. I have a funny type of cancer that has me making lesions that grow, and more than one at a time in my lungs. It's very slow-growing and doesn't metastasize the way other cancers do. I thought that I was at the end. But, I kept asking, why hasn't anyone explained what was going on and I pursued this until I finally got answers. I do think that there are so many things that seem up in the air to you for you. DOn't you think that it's time to sit down and have a one on one talk with your doctor to find out what needs to happen, step by step. If you aren't satisfied with that then find someone who will. Once you have all the information then you can make decisions based on that.
Do you have a family member that can go with you to make sure that everything is written down and for a shoulder for comfort and support?

Here is a link to a discussion about DIA, or what it is often referred to as a stiff heart.: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/stiff-heart-diastolic-heart-failure/