Time is moving forward but sometimes I feel like I am standing still and life is moving forward and it’s a blur. I take one day at a time one moment at a time as well. I believe it is a protective defense mechanism. Some days are better than others. I also notice at my cancer center some patients seem happy while I dread being there. There is laughter while I feel like crying. It is all a matter of prospective. I don’t want to be a cancer patient but I am. I think because it is still new to me. It’s been 4 months since my surgery. I have scans this month so that is making me nervous. Scanxiety is a word someone coined and it is appropriate. I have it and I need to practice to be positive because I need to be scanned. My lab work is normal I just found out yesterday. That made me glad. Living with a cancer diagnosis is rough. It takes a toll. You must do what feels best! Some days I want to be around friends other days I prefer to be alone. My dog is a great comfort. He is always there for me. He makes me laugh. He can be such a silly boy. I relish in the simple things and that helps me. I also take lots of walks it clears my mind. Keep strong and push forward. No one has a promise of tomorrow.