← Return to Emotional health after cancer: How are you doing really?

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@IndianaScott

Hi @azkidney57 You bring to light a very important question I think. Personally I think the ignoring of mental/emotional health is endemic to our entire society. Plus I saw this same thing at work with my wife and with me. During my wife's war with her brain cancer only one of her doctors ever would ask about her emotional wellbeing. Additionally when I would go in to see my GP she would most often say this exact sentence "Scott, you look exhausted and worn out. How are you doing?" Then she would totally ignore anything I said! I especially recall one time answering "Actually, I am very depressed right now!" She said 'oh' and moved on without addressing it at all.

I also recall when my wife's surgeon told our daughter her mom would 'be back to normal'. She never was and when I told him sometime later that was a poor choice of words -- he responded that my wife was back to being able to do normal things like talk, walk, eat, etc. He had no awareness of the fact she was extremely disabled emotionally and mentally. As a surgeon he was looking at the physical aspects only.

In my opinion the medical establishment needs to pay far greater attention to their patients' emotional wellbeing!

Strength, courage, and peace!

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Replies to "Hi @azkidney57 You bring to light a very important question I think. Personally I think the..."

This is so very true. I was diagnosed with oral cancer 10/2020. Three operations so far. When I first found out I cried. My dr. was kind, said "I know this is devastating". But now I feel he doesn't see the emotional side. The worry & fear. I had a lot of anxiety before the first surgery and after talking about it a few times he said I should speak to a therapist. I was doing that already. I thought I could tell him how nervous I was; I wanted empathy. Just to let me know he understands. Even a pat on the arm and saying I'm going to do everything I can. That would make a big difference. I know he is doing everything he can; but hearing the words can make a difference when you're so frightened.

Absent visitors

Not even ask how are you doing, thats great. Sometimes happen distant family members are afraid of medical centers ambiance and prefer not to be incumbents of your well bring. So asking "how are you doing" magical question is too much when other people hopefully are living their non-concern about health issues lifes.