These are very powerful, valid and true feelings.
Thank you for sharing your feelings. I hope it was a healthy, productive mental release for you. I'm sorry for your diagnosis

I do not have cancer but diagnosed with a disease to which there is no cure or concrete treatment, yet.

I spend every Monday in the apherisis/Infusion unit of the hospital for over 5 hours. I am surrounded by patients of various needs. We all get wrist bands. People of all ages and walks of life. There is no discrimination when it comes to illness. My heart struggles when I hear babies crying and small children screaming. I sit there hooked up knowing there is nothing i can do to comfort them. Some days I'm not sure if i worry more for others or myself. I have been known to unhook for a rest room break and make my path past them to simply say hello, with a smile, and show them my wrist band too.

I hear what you say about the very common "how are you" question. It indeed is a loaded question. One that can have so many layers of an answer but in all honesty is just easier to reply "ok" to. My new reply has been, "hanging in" because generally I'm not "OK".

There have been many times during my infusion, as I sit alone, I have cried. At times peacefully to myself and other times behind the curtain uncontrollably.

It would be comforting to have someone on hand for mental support. That hug, the touch of a dog, etc...

I wish you the best in your journey and again thank you for being real with such sincerity. May good health find it's way to you both physically and mentally.

Rachel