Wow ! Honestly I feel for you. I don’t have any advice to give as I have not walked down your path so much. We can send someone to the moon, invent technology to the point that we barely have to move anymore but science cannot come up with something other then pills to calm the mind. Hopefully there is someone in this crazy world who one day soon will come to your (our) rescue . I’m sure you don’t want to hear again and again “be strong” hang in there which proves you are by reaching out.