@cindylb- I also found the lack of emotional support very disappointing. But my husband askekd me, do you want a friend or surgeon? What a good point! Surgeons and radiologists seem to be very straightforward, dealing with precision and numbers. I do remind my radiologist, who I adore, that I am a person and he has to look at that too. He always says "Numbers don't lie" or some such nonsense. I tend to make my doctors my friends, at least my lung team.
Your husband is very lucky to have a wife as willing to help and compromise during this difficult journey. It's so important to know what kind of a person you are helping too- I take care of things immediately too, but I tend to trip over my other emotional self.
However having stage 4 lung cancer myself I also want a good quality of life. I am petrified myself of accepting my own death. I'm also thinking about looking into counseling about this through my oncologist's office.
I love, love, love the expression, "noise of married life and life itself!" I'm going to steal this term!
I am so glad that you have spoken freely as you an here. I hope that others will see the value of searching out such a person. Has your husband benefited from the counseling too?