thank you for your reply I haven't cried or really expressed anything since being diagnosed I've just been doing everything that the Dr.treatment plan but yes I understand wanting to be alone I have my husband here and my adult children but I still feel alone I refuse to let this get to me I've had a very hard life growing up and after it has never been easy for me but I have a very strong faith and I do think that life is test after test and this to shall past and whatever the end results are that's what is meant to be I understand people dont think the same way I do and thats fine but I will continue to do as I've always done and do good for others as I can and enjoy my life with love ones as much as I can if I can leave memories and put smiles on faces then thats alll I can do i'll never give up and I get that a lot about how great I look and I must be doing great I think it makes them feel better to say things like that and I understand no one really knows what to say what gets me is when they say call if you need anything im the person thats there when they need things so I dont ask and wont over all Im still very grateful for the 61 years that I have lived so far and pray to see many more and I will pray for anyone an everyone as I do and Thank all of you for being here for me.