I appreciate my doctors telling me what's going to happen - I kept after them until I got answers. Information on websites didn't mention anything past the very beginnings (needle stick feelings and numbness). As we get older, parts of our body wear out and stop working; sometimes it's the kidneys, liver, or heart that give out, or brain (Alzheimer's et al.). With me and 24 million other Americans, it's the nervous system. Eventually, the pain gets so bad that nothing will kill it - I asked the pain doctor if people with neuropathy have high suicide rates, he said 'yes, very high'. My neurologist said that the nervous system dies at the extremities first, then continues dying toward the center of the body - eventually, it stops the lungs and heart. She also said that higher and higher doses of medicines stop the heart. She didn't say any specific medicine. I don't know of any medical research company who is looking for a cure for neuropathy. I don't find any of this depressing, just interesting. I accepted long ago that I will die some day, like everyone else. I'm 68, I've had a rich, full life, my daughter is grown, married, has a good career and friends, doesn't need me. My husband will be lonely - I'm sorry for him, but he's older than me, has serious health problems, he will probably join me soon. There are a couple of things on my bucket list that I didn't get to ... ah well. Mick Jagger said "we don't always get what we want". My friend Jane added "We don't always get what we need - we get what we get". I can spend what's left of my life sniveling, or having a good time with friends and pulling together all the comedy I've written into a book so they can enjoy it after I'm gone. I'm not going to any more doctors or doing any more tests or chasing down any new health issues; I don't want to waste any time. Peggy

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