Nancy, I read a book titled, "What you Can and Cannot Change," several years ago that began changes in me that helped anxiety greatly. I don't believe that there is any one magic thing to do, but this was a starting place for me. The author refereed to reprogramming the radio in your head. I began to notice how my thoughts looped on negative and sometimes angry things. Things I felt helpless to change. I would ride to work every day in dread. The man I worked for was a bully, a racist, and a bigot. He gossiped and criticized everybody and everything. I felt trapped. I had a mortgage and child support and was afraid to quit. I was also separated from my son due to divorce and my ex had taken him seven hours away. I began to work on the radio in my head, replacing the dread and negative thoughts with things to look forward to in a day. Small goals that I built into a routine. Sounds similar to what you have described. I would look forward to a walk after work. I focused on regular practice of my banjo. A TV program. I read to my son everyday into a tape recorder and sent him the tapes weekly. Friends for dinner. It has been more than a twenty year process, but my life is now more joyful than anxious. It has been built in small steps that have changed my thoughts from dwelling in the negative to the positive. Yoga and meditation in the past two years have added a whole new dimension to living in a peaceful state of mind.

In recent years I have faced end stage liver disease that developed into cancer last year. I decided that if my time was to be limited, I would live every day I had left in joy. Facing the end of life brought a whole new perspective. But the truth is, no matter our health, each moment of life is a gift. Each moment we draw breath is one of hope. In August I received the miracle of a new liver and a chance to watch my grandchildren grow up. A trite as it sounds, counting my blessings each day brings me joy, in spite of the hard and scary parts of life. Anxiety wanders in unbidden at times, but gratitude for the gifts I do have is my safe place. It is a constant struggle. Thanks for sharing your story.

Jump to this post