Oh my Lord. kamama94. Reading your post made me gasp and I literally felt tears well up just reading your experiences. Much of what you describe is so similar to my own life. I've never suffered depression though I HAVE been depressed for short periods of times brought on by life circumstances. This time is different. You mentioned fibro. To ME, fibromyalgia is a new term the medical world developed when someone is in pain in all different areas of their bodies with no known diagnosis'. So it's name is fibro. I researched where it too comes along that list of clinical depression symptoms. I eat Advil most days for some area of pain and use CBD oil for internal inflammation control as well. I'm fairly desperate it sounds. I've reached out through my cardiologist and my PCP inquiring about Wellbutrin and/or Cymbalt both extended release. I have taken 0.5mg Xanax 3 x daily for more years than I even know. I just figure I will be on them forever so not concerned with going through withdrawals coming off of it although I'd be too afraid to TRY I would wonder if I could get by without Xanax if I started an SSRI. I took Prozac one time for about 3-5mo back in 2002 and although I did SUPER on it and it controlled my anxiety too so I didn't use Xanax but, I GAINED 30+LBS during that time as well, however it was during the time my Mother got sick too. Anyway. Just finding this online support group has already helped me more than any therapy session I went to. I think I am ready to at least attempt an RX and just see how it works for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your recap is heartbreaking and makes my recap seem so much less. I am so sorry for all you've endured.