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Grief: My 'bad' coping mechanism experience

Loss & Grief | Last Active: Nov 15, 2019 | Replies (36)

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Hi my friend that shot himself did have a lot of health issues he had a lot of his colon removed from cancer. He also was very good actually at controlling his diabetes but he still has a lot of issues with it. I'm pretty sure he got a bad doctors call last week and decided he wasn't going to go through chemo or anything like that. He's never wanted to be a burden on people and he never wanted to be cared for in his health. He was a brilliant man. An engineer. He worked in our Big Barn in our workshop and built a live steam train engine and tender box from blueprints. Took a many many years. But it is finished now. It is for riding on the smaller tracks you sit on the train and you go for a ride on the tracks I can't remember what the gauge is called. But we have 1100 feet of track that goes through our tree belt and we will put that on the track sometime in the future and run it. He and I would sit out in the sky chairs in the summer and talk for hours. He like to talk about himself which is fine because he had a very interesting life in the Navy and his childhood. Also a lot of sadness in this life but he was a wonderful man to talk to and I loved it when he laughed.

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Replies to "Hi my friend that shot himself did have a lot of health issues he had a..."

@mcmurf2 I so appreciate your sharing your friend with us. He does sound like an exceptional person and I'm sure he is sorely missed by you and others in his life.

It is very hard for some people to deal with the prospect of facing a painful and/or terminal illness. Perhaps this did affect his decision to end his life, but we can't say for sure. We just don't know what was going on in his mind at that time.

If you would like to continue to share about him, that would be great! Also, feel free to write notes to him (and others that you have lost).
In the notes, you can write that you miss them, write about the good times you shared, etc. As you write, date the notes and keep them in a shoebox or other container. They will always be a part of your life and this a good way to memorialize their presence.

It is good to know that you are keeping on top of your health issues with regular follow up appointments. Keep taking good care of yourself. Do you have a healthy diet and some plan for exercise?

Will you keep posting?