@fighter thanks for your good wishes but have really given up hope of ever being normal in that regard again... and I worry IF I had to go a long term care home, the staff barely have time to clean up patients as it is, let along someone who gets cleaned up and then has another accident and needs cleaning again, over and over... its not going to work and I have mental plans to ensure it doesn't happen to me, and have asked my family to make sure it doesn't if I cannot speak up for myself, at 77 and having this for so long along with other issues, you start to think of this possibility when you see what is happening and how some seniors are treated... it is hard for me to manage in my own home with spouse let along rely on poorly paid, overworked, psw's.... J.