@hearttoheart1 First, I have to say how sorry I am to learn of your husband’s spinal cord injury. What a tragic, life-altering event for both of you! How old was he when the accident happened? With a T-12 injury is he still able to use his arms freely? Is he coping well and fairly independent?
It’s wonderful to have a supportive family but they’re not with you 24/7 to face the daily challenges of being ‘chief cook and bottle washer’ as my mom used to say. Having all that responsibility doesn’t leave you with much time to dedicate to yourself. You sound like a wonderfully dedicated caregiver and are so amazing with how well you’ve balanced everything over the years. Do you tend to be great on the surface but keep all this pressure held inside?

You mentioned you’ve recently had a defibrillator implanted and that you’re worried your anxiety affecting it? Has it? Or is this a ‘what if’ moment? That’s when diversion techniques are really helpful! It’s awful the power anxiety can have over us!
Speaking of diversion, a couple of therapies which really helped my adult daughter over her anxiety:
EMDR-Eye Movement Desensitization and Repossessing. She said this one helped her the most!
MBRS~mindfulness based stress reduction. Both of these techniques have brought her back to a normal life again.
There are clinicians who specialize in these techniques so you might look for a center or therapist in your area.
Again, talking with your physician is a good first step to getting long term help.

Meant to add this: When we started “Operation Armageddon” for my cancer battle, my daughter’s gift to me was a book: Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness. By Jon Katat-Zin and Thich Nhat Hanh. It’s become a bible to both of us!
This might be a useful tool for you in the meantime!
Best to you!! Lori