I have fought depression all my life. I believe it started when my sister who was 18 months older than I was hit by a car when she just turned three. I was a year and a half when it happened. My mother always favored her. She was petite, had beautiful curls. I was fat, had straight hair. People used to say about my sister: "isn't she cute, so adorable, beautiful curly hair, then look at me and say "oh what happened to her? It thought I must be really ugly. Then my mother and father fought all the time. He drank and then would get violent with her. I had a sister who was 8 1/2 when I was born and two brothers, 14 and 18. When we were older, my sister told me, she never saw my mother hold me or pick me up in my whole life. We had a beautiful 19 year-old-girl staying at our house for a while and she held me, loved me. I was totally in love with her. I called her mommie Rose. I loved her but one day she left and I didn't know she was never coming back. I think maybe my grandma or someone said, you should tell her that she is never coming back because I was sitting by the door waiting for her to come home. She was MY mommie. My sister had our mom, so I had one--for a while. I was so depressed, I have always had all kinds of health issues. I was always full of snot and couldn't breathe. I am an old grandma now and still have problems with my sinus and breathing. I know what it is to be depressed. I have lost dogs, people, husbands to other women. Maybe I will write that book. Seven surgeons told me I need back surgery, now I need nose surgery, and I need esophagus surgery. I don't want any of it. At my age, I am hibernating (that is so depressing) because of the virus. To all of you who are depressed. I recommend watching really good inspirational movies, watch comedies, watch Christian movies. I watched on Netflix I think it's called Frankie and Grace. I watched Michael Douglas and I don't remember the old man but it is so hilarious in parts, I actually laughed out loud. by myself and the dogs. I think it's the Kowinsky Method. You can look it up on your smart phone. I got my phone from TV. It cost $100. and all the minutes and texts are in it for a year. I think it's great. I don't know how to do all the things it can do but I love asking Google questions. BTW, I have seen my baby pictures and I was quite adorable.