@merpreb , this hits the nail on the head for me. I am just beginning to walk away from the self-punishment that I inflicted upon myself for a long time toward acceptance of what has happened in the past, what I accept responsibility for, knowing that what is done is done. It's true for me, too, that what I had become accustomed to by living events over and by berating myself over those things was just what I knew was my world that I was bound to suffer in forever. It *is* awful, but I don't have to continue in those ways or with that type of thinking today, this moment.