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@merpreb

@shermananski- Enough is enough. When it reaches this point than it's time to switch gears and do something about it. I agree with @helenfrances, seek help.
Living in a house with an addict must have been awful. When you are young there really is literally nothing that you have control of; you can not effect or affect a change. Did your dad drink when your brother was young?
I am ne of three sisters growing up and all of us were very different. Who is to know what we will be like when we are older?

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Replies to "@shermananski- Enough is enough. When it reaches this point than it's time to switch gears and..."

I’m guessing my fathers drinking increased over the years with depression and the stress of a young family and working in a big old industrial plant that was very polluting and dangerous. I’m thinking my brother wasn’t exposed to it when he was a toddler etc. I never asked my mother. I should have. Maybe. I really miss the dad I rarely saw. Maybe I have perpetual heartache. A deep loss. A lost connection. I adored my grandparents. They made me feel so at ease and gave me a deep sense of belonging. Sigh. I need to focus on me and stop ruminating.

Hi Merry, I still can’t remember how post, so I’m writing here. I’m so very depressed depressed!!!! Mornings are the worst!!!! I’m lying down in my bed 🛌 trying to go back to sleep or just rest, but I cannot because my mind is too busy!!!! My sister and I don’t want to call her that anymore, Gail and her husband have gone home and I’m really so very glad because I don’t want to hear from either of them again. They’re cruel and abusive and I don’t want that. I can’t handle such behaviour ever!!!! I’m going to try and nap or just rest. I hope that I can!!!!