@merpreb No need to tell family or anyone else. I have 2 younger sisters and I don't want to face the music and the pseudo caring. All we have in common is DNA. I just can't play that game anymore. They both have loving families, nice homes, etc. I truly am happy for them and not the least bit envious. I just know they can't understand and that's okay.
My youngest son has so much garbage on his plate with in-laws I would not add more. Since things are stable at this point there is no need to raise red flags. My youngest doesn't need to think the only family member he has left in his life may croak. Family stuff is complicated. I would like to have family that cares and is supportive-I come here and it helps.
I don't know anyone who has had bladder cancer and has gone through treatment with BCG. It has been used for years. I feel like a walking disease. I know several breast cancer survivors and this type of cancer is acceptable but "down there" stuff is not. Hanging my head in shame and ought not to be. Not wanting around anyone.
Okay, my attitude is dulled by many things right now. I appreciate all of the chin up, positive encouragement and just not there right now. why I have not been posting very often. Hiding away and feeling sullied all over again.

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