@stsopoci

You have definitely structured your life to achieve healthier thoughts. Congratulations! I'm glad to see that Mayo Connect is on your "to-do" list. It is good to have you as part of our community.

Such a hopeful bright light! I am 59 and have been battling with depression & anxiety for years ( alcoholism and depression in my family) and just tapered off of Effexor thinking I had arrived to a place where I could handle my life .. then covid, a business with daily adjustments & changes and wound up in another major depression. I’m back on Effexor and pray to god the negativity and anxiety will wane..thank you for your encouraging words

I know my father and mother are the beginning of my depression. I first was never held as a baby (my older sister told me). I was told by my grandmother that I wasn't wanted. Then I went home (across the street) and asked my mother if I wasn't wanted--she said "no, you weren't wanted". My heart sank and I asked her why did you have me if you didn't want me? A small child is brokenhearted. She said you won't understand--maybe when you are older, you will understand. Yes, I do now. My mother was married to an abusive, alcoholic, who was a woman chaser. We never knew what kind of mood my father would be in when he walked in the door. I cannot tell you how he was with me. I just may have to write the book I have always talked about. I mean he hit me in the head until I saw stars. Then I married two men who were replicas of him. Charismatic, abusive, the list goes on.