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Hello @amberpep! My spouse has BPD, and he misplaces and loses important items all the time! So you're not the only person who loses keys, phones, etc.
I'm currently in counseling, and doing that 'deep work' too. It hurts, and is exhausting, but I need to do it if I'm going to make any progress in recovering from my mental sickness.
I have anxiety, and I'm learning that reframing concerns can reduce my anxiety. For example, I've been struggling with my weight, and ashamed of my body, my whole life. The popular 'body positivity' - loving my body - concept is too much of a mental leap for me, and it winds up my anxiety. Body neutrality, which removes the emotional values of love and hate and lowers the stakes, is something I can accept. Thinking of my body as a vehicle for my mind, and that it requires careful maintenance to function properly, is a step towards unconditional acceptance.
DBT works!
Replies to "Hello @amberpep! My spouse has BPD, and he misplaces and loses important items all the time!..."
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@zoobditty Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. We're glad to have you at our cyber-table. Congratulations to you on doing the heavy work of finding out what works best for you, in healing. It never ceases to amaze me how many ways there are to do healing work. As I was reading your post, it dawned on me that over the decades I have done so much, having been through different types of counselors, etc. I have such an opposition to labels of any sorts that I have never fully embraced a particular definition of things that I am doing to get better. I am better than I used to be, have a ways to go [perhaps a long ways to go!] but I just don't put labels on things, procedures, or techniques. Perhaps the fact that I am better is what counts and that's enough for me.
If you care to share, please tell us how helping a spouse with BPD affects your day-to-day living, both as an individual and as a couple?
Ginger