← Return to Alzheimers: When should someone not be left alone?

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@debrat1

Aww, so cute! I just hate it when people are so callous and decide to throw away an animal like trash. If your not going to be responsible then don’t get one. I agree. Ill tag you @gingerw to keep in loop. I kept telling mom that something was up with dad and she wouldn’t accept it. It even took me awhile. It’s strange looking back. Daddy was such an easy going, beloved and fun person who seldom lost his temper or said anything against others. There were several instances that I thought wow that is so unlike my dad. I remember exactly though when I realized something was definitely wrong though. He and mom were at my house and we, my mother and I, were discussing something about his mothers cooking being so good when I was small. When I say there was an explosion I’m not exaggerating. Out of the blue he exploded and jumped up screaming at me not to ever talk about his mother again and kept telling my mother to come on because he was leaving. I was dumbfounded. He went out the door. I told mom to wait and went after him. He was standing by the porch and I asked him what was wrong and if he’d sit down with me for a minute. I believe he was as confused as I was. He did sit and I asked him what was wrong and he said something about his mom again. I told him no one was talking bad and how much we all loved her. Then it was over. He came in and they stayed until the visit was over when it originally was going to be. I took mom aside and asked her about it. She aid he’d been doing strange things more often. That’s when I told her he has to see and doctor and can’t let it continue without knowing. I lost him a piece at a time after that. Long, slow and painful. One night my mom called me around 1:00am and says daddy has lost it and shoving her. I could hear him through the phone ranting. So not my father, he was gentle and my mother and him were best friends. I never heard a real argument between them. I live about two hours away from home there. I told her to tell daddy I wanted to talk to him. She told him and he got on the phone mad. He’s shouting she wouldn’t let him have the keys to the car. I was able to talk him down until he was calm and back to normal. He gave my mom the phone and I asked if she thought I should go over. She said no she thinks he’ll be fine now. I called the next morning and we discussed it. I explained that she can’t have him be physically combative towards you. He doesn’t mean it but that she could be hurt. It happened again in the middle of one night and we went through the same scenario. I told her after that, if it happens again she has to accept we will need to do something about it. My whole family are law enforcement officers and I’m well aware of something called a Baker Act. I’m sure everyone is aware too. I told her we were going to have to get him to the hospital and get him expedited help for not only her safety but his. A month or so later I drove over at 3:00 am in the rain after talking him down again. I got there and told daddy I wasn’t well and needed to go to the hospital and needed his help to go. I wanted this calm. When we got there I asked him to sit with mom a minute. Let me say this was not anything she wanted. I can’t explain how difficult it was for me. My daddy and I were very very close. I was his standing for a son. The oldest of two girls but a big tomboy. Daddy took me fishing, taught me basketball, took me to the place where the guys played pool and everywhere else I wanted with him. We were buddies. Anyway, I went in and explained the situation so they could have a heads up in case it went south. He was very calm and accepting. I think he understood.
This has gone on longer than I realized. I’ll finish in a later post but just wanted you to hear about my experience. Thanks!

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Replies to "Aww, so cute! I just hate it when people are so callous and decide to throw..."

Thank you for the first half of the story. Was he diagnosed with Alzheimer’s? Do these outbursts happen to most Alzheimer’s people? This scares me. So far my sister is quiet and compliant. She has had dementia for about 7 years. Is this something my husband and I need to watch and prepare for? Sallysue

Thanks for your sharing, @debrat1 I find it interesting and appreciate being able to read this post.

The first inclination I had with my MIL was when she visited our home. One floor, two bedrooms. She kept getting lost and not being able to find the bedroom, which was visible everywhere in the house. Plus that trip she always had to have her overcoat in view.

Thanks again! Looking forward to 'the rest of the story' as Paul Harvey used to say!

This is so similar to what I experienced with my husband and was directed by the social worker at VA Clinic to take him to Senior Behavioral Unit at the local hospital for evaluation. I wondered how we were going to get him to go, but he had complained of some chest pain a short while ago so I said the Dr. wanted him to go have it checked out. Worked and he willingly went. I was able to take to the Dr. before he went into exam room and fill him in on why we had brought him in. I was hardest thing I ever did to have him placed in a Care center, but the best for everyone. I couldn't care for him at home any longer.