I find that as a teenager I kept my alcohol secret to myself and never told anyone. Later I took up marijuana, angel dust, cocaine, etc to help medicate my extreme anxiety and my issues with my Dad. I could drink anyone under the table but I never drank with people, I drank alone.
I was angry, depressed, scared of every moment on the planet and didn’t tell anyone. I play many instruments and when I performed was the only time I was happy.
My wife of 45 years stayed with me and later told me she just kept on praying that I would figure out what was wrong. I quit all drugs and alcohol in 1996 oct 13th when I was either going to kill myself or tell myself the truth. It helped to quit but I still had major issues. Psychologist told me my Dad was a complete narcissist and It would take a long time to recover if I could. My wife is an angel.
1. I went to weekly meeting to just talk.
2. I wrote down all of the things I was good at and read them everyday.
3. AA meetings didn’t help
Me but they do help many.
4. Men’s meetings to talk religion or philosophy or literature or sports or anything with people of your age Helped me.
5. Nature and birding frees your spirit.
6. Helping others grows on you and releases endorphins that energize you.

Try anything to feel like you are performing on stage to a million people. And they are screaming Love you love you love you!!!