Hello, @formydad - sounds like it has been a fast whirlwind of activity and revelations with your dad. Since the urologist said the bladder cancer in the muscle wall of the bladder is aggressive, and needs to come out, or he has 2-4 years to live, I can imagine this would be a shock. Makes sense he will be going to the oncologist next.

I believe your question about where do you go from here is not about treatment, but about how to deal with the shock of it all? I'd like to bring in some others who have been part of this conversation before or have talked about bladder cancer elsewhere on Connect who may have some input on this, like @kamama94 @predictable @jolinda @spooz2 @mrbigdog2u. @becsbuddy also may have some thoughts for you.

Here is a resource from the American Cancer Society on support programs where you can look up what might be available in your area https://www.cancer.org/treatment/support-programs-and-services.html.

How is your dad feeling today, physically speaking?