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The triggers for guilt and loss come when I allow myself to think about my son telling me he planned to kill himself. He talked to me about how he researched ways to do it. He was in a different state and I didn't go to see him when I should have. I did send a mobile Crisis team to his home to do a wellness and safety check. He yelled at me for sending them and they left him in his home because they didn't think he was a danger to himself. 3 days later he was dead. I flew to his home and saw the aftermath of what happened. They had taken him away but had not cleaned up from how he did it. So I have these PTSD issues and keep seeing the scene in his kitchen. Sorry for such a long post and I hope I'm not upsetting anyone.
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@georgette12
It is a good thing that you can use this group to write about these feelings. I agree with @colleenyoung that banning guilty feelings would be great. However, since guilt remains as one of those toxic emotions, we somehow have to learn to deal with it as best as we can.
I am hoping that others will begin sharing how they deal with their feelings of guilt.