About caregiving:

As a retired nurse who now receives nursing care herself, I'd like to share some thoughts about attitudes and care delivery.

It's important to remember that if we're helping someone, that someone already has difficulties so patience is a must. But so is firmness. People requiring help need to know parameters at a time when there are many unknowns. Shouldn't need to be said but empathy is a must as well but not taken to extremes; too little emotion makes for inefficiency, too much emotion can paralyze the caregiver's ability to deliver the needed care. Yet there even are times when a cavalier attitude can be helpful.

Here is a RL example: While I was in the hospital recently, a nurse brought me a medication quite awhile after a meal despite that the medication instructions are to take with food. I explained that I already had gastric and digestion problems and quoted the "take with food" instructions. The nurse replied that people took this medication without food all the time.Not the right kind of cavalier attitude. It not only dismissed physician/pharmacist instructions, it dismissed my concern and supported less-than-excellent caregiving. Fortunately I had squirrelled away a small piece of bread so took my pill while the nurse watched then followed up with the bread after she left the room. At the risk of sounding petty, I'd like to remind everyone that ill people don't always have much tolerance for brusqueness on the part of a caregiver.

Compare the above incident with one with a different nurse: Different nurse brought in the medication. I mentioned it should be taken with food. Different nurse admitted she did not know this (nurses cannot possibly know/remember EVERYthing, c'mon!) I explained the instructions were on the medication bottle I had brought with me and this was important because I already had tummy trouble.She replied cavalierly - BUT appropriately with good humor! - "We can't have that! We want you to feel better. Will crackers be ok?"

I said yes, she said she'd be right back, ducked out of the room, returned in a flash with crackers and offered applesauce or peanut butter (I declined but nice of her,) gave me my pill and the next time she brought me that med she brought crackers, too!

Even if you're not a tech or nurse or doc or pro caregiver, it's important to balance empathy with objectivity and act out of true compassion but with good humor.

Which lives here along with love and hope.