@golden418 I think often it's not that spouses don't understand, they just cannot adjust to having to speak a bit louder and more clearly. I sometimes say to my husband, when he speaks in a voice that I cannot hear, "oh, I have a hearing problem, could you please speak a little louder?" Of course, he already knew that so it is a bit sarcastic, but it reminds him. Of my family members, my son is the best at trying to accommodate my problem.

@gulzar My loss is also high-frequency. My Oticons definitely do help. They are not perfect, but then if you have a severe loss, no hearing aid is perfect.
JK

My husband has hearing loss, and he wears hearing aids. He has worn them for 8 years. He still has to remind me when he cannot hear me. I can always tell when he needs to get them adjusted because he turns up the TV and stereo to a level that is uncomfortable to me.

I 'know' that he cannot hear me if I am behind him, or if there is background noise, but I forget, and he has to keep reminding me. It is a team effort of patience and learning to adjust and accept the hearing loss.
The thing that annoys me is when he responds to something that I said with a 'yes' or 'okay', only to find out later that he had no idea of what I had said. I used to accuse him of not listening - until he was diagnosed with the hearing loss. When he purchased the hearing aids, it was the cost that really grabbed our attention. No more denial!

@golden418, it is possible that your wife does not understand what it is like to have a hearing loss. My husband has explained that he doesn't hear when..; or it sounds like...; or I can't understand ... I am still learning that it has to be an ongoing adjustment for both of us. The other thing is that when hearing loss comes on gradually, it can be harder for family and friends to ignore.

@golden418 I belong to the Hearing Loss Association of America, and if you would go to their website, hearing loss.org, you will find many resources for your spouse to read.

I believe you can find some literature on this topic of the hearing spouse on the HLAA website (hearinglossa.org). You also could see if there is a thread started yet on this Mayo Clinic forum home page.

In encourage you to connect with The Hearing Loss Assn. of America (HLAA) hearingloss.org You will find solutions the pros never discuss with you because they come from trial and error with other people who have hearing loss. Seriously. A lot of HLAA discussions relate to relationships. In spite of the high incidence of hearing loss, there are still way too many myths about it, along with super high doses of stigma! In other words, we aren't understood, and by not openly discussing it we allow that stigma thing to grow. Most people with typical hearing think that hearing aids 'correct' hearing loss. They don't. Many think we can hear when we want to. Not true, but it often appears that way. People with typical hearing do not know how hard those of us with hearing loss work to hear, and that it's exhausting. When we are fatigued, it's hard to concentrate the way we need to, so we are inclined to drop out of conversations. We miss things that our hearing partners think we heard all the time! It helps so much to meet other people with hearing loss as it gets us out of our personal hearing loss closets....and lets us talk about it with people to 'get it'. So many of our personal issues can be resolved by being understood....but we have to understand ourselves first. You are not alone with hearing loss, but it often feels that way.

I started a discussion of this the other day. It has tips that I think you will find helpful. Good luck!
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/tips-for-speaking-with-someone-with-hearing-loss/

@golden418. If you have a chapter of the Hearing Loss Association of America in your area, both you and your wife would find others with similar experiences and probably also some solutions. Check the website, hearingloss.org/chapters, to find a chapter. Also, my 2013 book "Shouting Won't Help: Why I and 50 Million Other Americans Can't Hear You," available on Amazon and elsewhere, described in detail the difficulties I and my friends and family had in understanding the impact of my progressive severe hearing loss. In the book I share not only my own experience but those of others who have also wrestled with adjustment to hearing loss. A forum like this one (Mayo Connect) can also help, though a face to face gathering at an HLAA or ALDA (Association of Late-Deafened Adults) meeting can be transforming.