Here is some information from the Survivors of Suicide website, https://elunanetwork.org/resources/survivors-of-suicide-sos-group-finder/, that I thought might be helpful to you. I realized that all losses due to death are overwhelming but that loss to suicide must carry an extra burden of grief.
After you read this short excerpt could you share something about your own personal experience? For example, can you share in what way a grief counselor was helpful to you? How did friends and family react to your loss? Was it different than a more natural death? Please share as you are comfortable doing so.

"When you have experienced the death of a family member or loved one by suicide you can feel overwhelmed, desperately sad, lonely, angry, confused, guilty and somehow responsible. You may also discover that friends, co-workers and other family members don’t always know what to say or how to be supportive and comforting. We know that the bereavement associated with a suicide death is different than other deaths; there is the suddenness of the death and there is often no easy – or clear – explanation as to why suicide was seen as a choice.

It is always important to get help in the aftermath of suicide death. That help might be from a therapist who specializes in grief and loss; it might be through a support group specifically designed for individuals who are dealing with the loss of a loved one to suicide. Survivor of Suicide (SOS) groups can help participants feel less alone and understood by others who have experienced a loss to suicide. “Being with understanding others helps me try to figure out where I am, where I was, and where I might be headed in this process.”