Thanks Betty. You've been through more than I have. I need to ask--how do you cope? How do you keep from being sad over all this and find happiness? Before my afib started I was happily quilting, painting, walking and hiking, going on bike rides, was part of an art group and sometimes two, planning trips to see grandkids and other family, but I haven't even listened to music since. I don't feel any incentive or drive to do anything. It's like the life has gone out of me. I don't think it's so much feeling sorry for myself as feeling like my life is pointless all of a sudden, like nothing matters. Everyone else I know is happy, carefree, and pain free. I still get pressured to take more responsibility in various organizations but I know I can't make any commitments because I never know what is going to happen and I'm finding that people don't understand--they don't have a clue. With the elections coming up I'm getting pressure to volunteer on campaigns, etc. It doesn't take much anxiety or fatigue to put my heart in afib mode and sitting too much OR standing too much means I get hip pain and have to move around or lay down. I'm defined and my life is dictated by my ailments and my meds.
I'd like to find my way back again. I'm considering counseling when I get back from my next trip. I hope the PT helps me with the pain too. I think having less pain and being able to do more without pain would make me feel better too. Another thing I'm dealing with is severe regret that I didn't take vitamin D to ward off the osteoporosis and severe regret about all the heavy lifting I did to bring on my hip arthritis. I used to work like a man in my younger days and moved a lot by myself with moving heavy boxes, etc. I used to be so strong but never considered the stress I was putting on my knees and hips. But, you are dealing with more and seem to have a better approach to all of it. Thanks for pointers on pain management BTW.