@joyces After writing my reply above, I went to my "balance folder" and found a whole collection of dialogue with you and others on this subject. When writing tonight I had a feeling that someofwhat I wrote was repetitive. Sorry! But now I want to comment on your talk about your "stubborn" husband (about helping himself with his health problems) and others comments about their "uncooperative" spouses and depression. I was once in a similar position with my husband who has since passed away. All of you burdened and frustrated caretakers should check out the Well Spouse organization. It is terrific, was a major support to me and has been very helpful to so many. All that's needed is googling it.