I am sorry to hear about your troubles. Anxiety can rob a person of so much life. I know this because it has affected me for 30 years. I suggest that you look for a good psychologist that specializes in anxiety and panic attacks. Psychologists do not prescribe medication but rather try to get to the root of your problem and works with you to rationalize why you are having these feelings. The second suggestion I have for you is to go find a good yoga studio nearby that you can attend a yoga class or two a week. A good yoga instructor can really help teach you how to live in the present. Anxiety is a manifestation of something that happened in the past or something that “ may “ happen in the future. In closing, there is nothing wrong with relying on Xanax to get you to some kind of help. I just don’t want you to become a prisoner of your anxiety and a bottle of pills. Best of luck to you.