I have been a widower for a year and look back on all the "good and positive" attempts to help. I agree with all the suggestions given here. Just don't fall into the trap of saving the person from the inevitable. My wife did as much as she could, I did more than I should, and in the end what mattered was the love, respect, and recognition of the humanity of that person you love. I drove myself crazy postponing (or so I thought) what came at us. I know there are exceptional cases where the caregiver comes up with real enhancement. I like to believe I stretched out our time together, but who knows? When you can't make something happen or they won't or more likely can't do something it's a red flag for take some time and step back and weigh what the patient really needs vs what you can realistically can offer.